Wake me up when September ends.

At this time of my life I never know whether to be excited or depressed about the start of a new term. Usually I've had a particular dislike for September (last year holds the record still) but this one isn't so bad. Apart from the fact I had to drop Psychology, because I apparently did so bad in that exam. Bollocks. Unit 2 was my best one, 99.99% of the questions answered to the best of my ability. Unit 1 worked hard for as well. The result - same damn mark for the retake, and a simple D for unit 2. Great, well I certainly hope that's good for me and that somehow, R.E. is like my destiny this year, because I've dropped my favourite subject. On the plus side, I don't need to bother going into the intricate details of why myself and many other people I know feel inclined to form relationships.

Ok now that's over with, onto other news. I got a job in the holidays down at my local Co-op. Which although took ages to get my clocking in number, my name tag and such like, I'm sorted and getting paid an extra large amount at the end of the month. Or every 4 weeks. A good thing with September actually is that after it is of course October, when many new games are released. Games such as Enslaved and (Que church choir) Fable 3 look quite promising. The television is being as noisy as when it's Wimbledon now the Pope has come for a visit, as has the papers. So much news on it I can hardly keep track of it. From what I can tell, he's the sort of guy who wants a lot of good for the world and human race, while at the same time manages to insult and upset a lot of it. Cool car though. Never thought I'd hear the name Pope mobile.

I actually am formulating some sort of perspective now on religion, not quite enough to write on yet. Will do soon. But it will be interesting for sure.

P.S. Some people are so ignorant these days...
P.S.S It's amusing to read other people's blogs.

Growing old is compulsory, growing up is optional...

As year 13 will be my last year before being shipped off to university or some other institution which forces me to become maturely accustomed to adult life, I thought I'd use this summer as well as next to re-live fond memories. Although I haven't exactly ticked off everything on the to do list (not that there is one), it's still worth it. Like for instance two weeks ago I ordered, as a treat for myself, a force FX Luke Skywalker ROTJ lightsaber. Yeh go on, laugh. I just win my bet that you will. So ha. As well as being pretty, it's a good defense against robbers, annoying pricks and angry girlfriends. Although, I will have two then. Damn!

I also bought LEGO! Hehe. Managed to go 4 days without opening it as well. You remember how difficult that was right? It's a good one which you, I think, can just about take apart and then make again if you really have nothing to do.

On a slightly more sane level, I've got a job at the Co-op. Tills used to freak me out for some reason but they're a piece of cake now. Finally I'm going to be getting some money in. To buy more LEGO with... Nah I'm joking. Maybe.

I saw the remake of the Karate Kid last night. Was immense! Love Jackie Chan, and Will Smith's son, Jacen, was really cool. In many ways it's better than the first one. But most importantly the flow of the film is solidly carried and it's fun.

See you around

Summertime

Well, summer is finally here. We can all relax now. I think. Exams were pretty hefty going but got through them. Feels weird being the summer holidays again, after last year. No matter, it can't happen again now. To be fair, it's been a rather crazy year. I haven't had one like this in ages. Never had to think so much about my life and life itself ever before. Education can bring new views on everything I guess. But less said about the year the better I feel.

Even weirder is the weather. Lately it hasn't been that hot when it's supposed to be. June was way hotter. Ah well, it'll pick up. It always does. August no doubt will be scorching. So, stuff that's happened. Well, my current relationship is going pretty good to say the least. We see a lot of each other now. Just like in Easter. Was Jo's 17th birthday party on the 19th... wasn't too bad. Considering. Nah that's a bit unfair, it really wasn't that bad. Just wasn't feeling too well. I'm well chuffed with my wrapping skills though, made her pressie look really nice without my Mum's help. It's nice anyway but the paper makes it look better. Bloody hell this summer is just trying to be filled to the brim with campouts. After a rather successful one last week, I'm receiving lots of Facebook messages concerning them. So long as I have a tent, all my equipment and someone to spend the night with (preferably G) I'm game with it.

Recently went to Oxford with her as well, saw Eclipse. That film has probably redeemed the franchise for me personally. Just. There was more comedy and real action rather than soppy romance. Don't get me wrong, romance isn't too bad, but with the Twilight saga it seems you need to be ready to tread through 3 feet of heart-wrenching, tear filled, blissfully in love female emotion to get a real acceptance of the plot. A particular favourite film critic of mine claimed that Twilight featured "vampires who are winy emo brats, the werewolves are muscle-head lunks, the romantic leads have no chemistry and anything remotely interesting is forbidden according to law". To be honest, although he had a point, the full on monster vs monster war at the film's climax made up for Edward's rather wet 'old school' romancing. Think I slightly prefer the werewolves if anyone is that interested. It seems though that the franchise's ultimate goal is to convince every girl of my generation that being willful and independent will only make them moody and miserable. That true happiness can only be found in co-dependant submission to emotionally domineering men in the context of traditional marriage - another quote. Anyone who gets narked when girls go all gooey-eyed over the whole Team Jacob or Edward theme, now you have some form of remedy.

That's about it for now, see you around.

And how can I stand here with you, and not be moved by you?

Today has been an interesting day. Had my first out-on-the-road driving lesson that went pretty well actually. The instructor is really nice and feels there is only positive skills to be built on. Had meal out with mum and did food shopping which was nice, especially for her. It's good for her to get out to places I think. A break from getting stressed. For a couple of hours now I've just been mulling around listening to music and thinking that I probably really should do some preparation for those 2 practice exam papers tomorrow. But I just don't want to. Not today. I didn't think i'd have anything to do today so I could reflect, but I guess doing something would help me.. forget. It's not like it's a bad thing, just something that's the cornerstone for where I am now. In my life. Something happened on this day, 2 years ago. Something that I chose to do that I knew would have a massive impact. Something that made me happy for several months afterwards and lead to probably the best summer holidays I've ever had. All because of her. So much has happened since then I can't possibly write it all out. I can sum it up in basically this: We had a really, great relationship which I will never forget, ended because it got 'downhill' and then ended up with us as just friends. We did have some sort of plan to fix it all, to let ourselves be free for a while and then think about getting back together. But I guess a lot of plans are fragile things, and life dashes expectations to the ground. All that time we told each other we wanted to stay together for the rest of our lives and actually planned it all. And yet it;s still come to this. I guess that's mainly because of me. Something I did. But then, it;s been complicated between us 2 for ages it just feels second nature now. Which saddens me.

2 years today we would have been going out. And even though it's like she has moved on and I'm drifting on the surface, it's still just... weird. I can't stop thinking about that day. What I said, how much I meant the things I said. How badly I wanted her. Her, even when she feels there is nothing of value in herself, I saw everything. And that's what she was. My everything. I'm told there is no chance, been told for ages to be honest. And I don't think we could do it again. But still, it's just a something. Something that weighs heavily upon me. I want her to be happy so much. For someone to make her happy all the time, never be complicated. Is that too much to ask? I feel she deserves it. Everyone deserves a second chance.

I don't know really. Truth and lies all get caught up in the fray these days. Feelings that were so powerful before are then expected to be laid to rest. Moving on is for the best, and change is good. But it isn't exactly easy if you're being dragged down. No matter how much you rebel. They always find a weak spot, always try to bend you to their will. In these sorts of matters I think anyway. I think I'll stick to what I have now, what I know is true. What makes me smile.
I've been dreading this day for a while now, and my mood is indescribable. But after today, things will go uphill. I know they will. I won't let them go down again. OK there are things we cannot control, but the sooner we accept that, the sooner we can live better lives. That's a part of life. From the ashes comes new life. In a lot of cases even better than before. This my change that I can believe in. Because I choose to as well as have to.

Mass Effect 2

First off a thousand apologies for not writing for over a month. Have been kinda busy/not really motivated to write recently because of some unassuming crap. And revision/exam anxiety.

For those of you who don't know, Mass Effect was Bioware's sci-fi action RPG spectacular that featured an epic story line, fantastic graphics and a rather alluring sex scene that made me smile. Now a couple of years later it's sequel has made a grand appearance, which in the early reviews promised to improve the combat system, character interaction and storyline. Well they definitely got the last bit right. How many other games have you played where the protagonist gets blown away with his or her own ship within five minutes? Exactly, pretty epic.

Like in the first one you play as Commander Shepard, a soldier whose gender went unrecorded by history, to fight in the deep voids of space with the Human Alliance. Or make friends, either way. After thwarting Saren, a renegade Spectre, and an ancient machine race called the Reapers from destroying the Citadel and thus saving human and alien kind, Shepard and the Normandy are attacked by a colossal ship which blows them to kingdom come and should have rendered Shepard dead after being sucked into space but somehow managed to be brought back to life. However Mass Effect is based in the 2100's so OBVIOUSLY all technology is advanced. So much so that a corporate company has brought him back to life after two years and sent him to investigate the disappearance of human colonies. Fairly decent start to an RPG I suppose, although perhaps just a few limitations. Depending on whether or not you saved the Citadel Council will depend a great deal on how people will react to you. Providing you didn't, a new threat has risen (as indeed it must) because no one was brave enough for fight it and if you did save them I guess they were eating space doughnuts for two years.

Personally, I am rather biased considering this is now one of my favourite games of all time. however I do acknowledge a few of the slight downturns, no matter how few they may be. As all critics must. Bioware as usual really came through on this one. Combat wise the game flows much better, as they've done away with that silly burst fire method where you have to duck under cover and suck your thumb while your weapon cools down after prolonged shooting which resulted in overheating. Now you need to gather ammo clips, and they're incredibly easy to get. Kill someone, nick the ammo from around their corpse. Done. I swear that shooting is more accurate now. And thank God they've made combat direction easier instead of me fumbling around trying to remember which was to take cover and which to tell them to shoot some git. Plus now you can get heavy weapons, with the general rocket launchers and others that have like cryo shells which freeze everything. But with enough money no joke here, you can buy a rocket that shoots fucking nukes.

Character interaction is the same as before, where you highlight a key word and then the voice acting develops it further, so as to make the game play feel spontaneous. And ofcourse you've got the blue area for paragon (good) choices and red for bad (renegade) choices. Now you can also interrupt people with these types of choices that effect the mission and you character so it has made steps in the right direction. Although this might be stretching it a bit far as after all the effort I made to pick the soppiest dialogue to woe the lovely lady and all I got was an even shorter bit of space-dress dry humping than I got in the previous one. Maybe it's more promising with different people but hey. Yes in Mass Effect 2 now instead of being able to form relationships with one of two humans or an alien, Commander Shepard can assert his/her sexual desires to pretty much his entire party as he/she sees fit.

There are even more significant changes such as the whole vehicle section has been subtly done away with, which although was more difficult to navigate than a three legged donkey at least made the game feel more expanded. Instead in Mass Effect 2 it's been replaced with the malarkey of mining planets for resources. This might be seen as unnecessary and you don;t even have to but you need them to buy upgrades and get the best ending so it;s just a chore really. Not so bad if you have the strategy guide, but that's not entirely needed to be honest. Although very useful. This is Commander Shepard we're talking about here, he;s supposed to be the hero, he shouldn't have to mine planets for resources he should have to acquire them by shooting them out of a monsters face. If I wanted to be a space quantity surveyor I would play EVE online.

One thing that is very noticeable and also I personally enjoy is that you can now customize your armour, more the colour than the armour itself but that's ok. I liked the idea of going out on to each mission with a new coloured armour plating. Also side missions are more agreeable this time around and feel rather cool. They're quite quick, get you money, resources and experience. And at least now you don't have to trape back to the ship with a fuck load of guns deciding which ones are crap and which are kick-ass because you can pretty much uses one of two guns throughout the whole game and just upgrade it. Hooray.

If you genuinely want my advice I'd have to conclude that if you enjoy RPGs, especially sci-fi, shooting bad guys, deep exploration of a varied and diverse world (or galaxy in this case) and characters that give more to the story than just going along with it because the plot demands them to, then Mass Effect 2 is worth your time.

The day I visited the 60s...

Way back in January one of my closest friends approached me with an interesting idea; to go see a tribute band (a very well respected one at that) that is dedicated to The Beatles. This band call themselves, The Bootleg Beatles. At first I wasn't too sure, given that I hadn't heard much of their stuff. But he said that I would have enough time to listen to some of their mountain load of albums to get a general picture. So without too much fuss, we bought two tickets for a reasonable price in the stalls. I hadn't thought about it all that much until, a few days ago, both he and I started having nervous spouts of excitement. He feels he's some teenage alternate version of John Lennon (all the power to him I say), and according to him after commenting on a photo of me I am some sort of George Harrison. It wasn't until Friday night that I realised how awesome this compliment was.
I'd like to congratulate myself and Tom for making one of the most solid plans in the history of my life. Everything went to plan; picked Tom up from his place, went to the train station, didn't have to wait long for the train, bought tickets on train, got to Oxford in record time, managed to get a cornish pasty and Burger King before heading into the theatre, got in there and then had our minds blown away and still managed to get the train back and arrive home without getting frozen, being chased by angry drunk people, beaten up or killed. I'd added some of their songs to Libby (my ipod) and hits like Yesterday, Day Tripper, All you need is love, Hey Jude, Penny Lane were all quite nice to listen to as I made my way to school. But if any credit has to go to the Beatles or Bootleg Beatles in this case (which it should) I would say that they're nothing on cd compared to what they are live. Seriously, I can't remember the last time I got up and sang and clapped along with the audience.
The really cool thing was that they acted like the Fab Four; they had very good Liverpool accents, dressed in amazing costumes, played really well on authentic instruments and talked, yes talked in conversation just like them. I don't know much about them to be honest, but from what I have heard Paul, John and Ringo certainly did sound a lot like their predesessors. Such as Paul's short pauses after a few words "So yeh, we're going to introduce you to that man, over there, who's on that keyboard, which makes a nice sound" and being encouraged by Harrison to clap all the way through didn't annoy me for once "Yeh so if you could clap all the way through this time, that be really nice, make a nice sound" and John being the polite gentleman as always "Thank you kindly" Ringo was just Ringo, lapping up all the joy when we got to Yellow Submarine.
Tom was just smiling all the way through and to be honest, I was glad to see he could get away from all the shitty stuff at school for just a few hours and really enjoy seeing his favourite band of all time. I'd have to say I had a great time too. As Tom said "That's got to be the first time i've ever heard 'All you need is love' and not argued with it". In fact, nothing went wrong except for a very brief moment when fate tried to slip us up and steal Tom's wallet, but after checking under his seat, we became relatively calm again.
Now I can see why the real Beatles gave note of how much they appreciated and respected this tribute band. It really did feel Tom and I had warped back to the 60s. What was really funny about them aswell was that the totally random, tanjent type conversations they had between songs was just so them. I think at the end I managed to wave to Harrison and he saw me, but i'm not sure. Either way, we both had a great night and haven't been that excited since...um... bingo night I reckon.
Check out Tom's post if you'd like to see some footage that was very slyly taken.

P.S. - If the man with the yellow Wolverhampton F.C. shirt who was there on Friday is reading this perchance, YOU WERE AMAZING!
P.S.S. - I think my tweed jacket and waistcoat outfit fitted the mark pretty well, and also kept me warm.
P.S.S.S - Will in next blog attempt to write a review for a video game, probably Mass Effect 2.

My First Post

I was never good on introductions. Whenever I have been forced to make a speech, I smiled bravely and tried some mildy funny wittiness into what I was supposed to be saying and slight changes to my voice. Meeting new people was rather much the same, leading to quite a few bad first impressions. Mid way through these so called speeches/intros/stand-ups i've surprisingly felt pretty good about how it's gone and no one seems to have a problem. Yet at the end there's always someone who 'kindly' let's me know "Seb to be honest I have no idea what the hell you were on about". Thank you David.

Well enough of that bollocks. Hi my name's Seb, and that unnecessary introduction might give you some insight as to what i'm like. Apart from spouts of complete randomness, I am nice (usually), I promise. I'm in year 12 at a school in the Cotswolds. Yeh I might leave the whole about me stuff for another time.

I thought after about 4 years of skillfully avoiding internet blogging, there has come a time in my life where I feel i'd be more attracted to typing up a 'diary' entry rather than hand write it. Lots of things to say. And seeing as I lead quite a weird and sometimes questionable life, I feel it's best to just get some stuff off my chest.

I suppose that is the norm though with blogging. However, as one of my interests is gaming, and i've become rather interested in video game journalism, as well as film, I decided that i'd dedicate a part of my life to reviewing video games, whether they're new or have been released for a while. My slot in society maybe now filled.

Oh and my last point, the main title. Slightly morbid perhaps, but I did play around with it for 35 minutes figuring out what sounded best. No it is not depressing. It is just a possibly cynical view of what has happened, and what may happen. My life on whole. I was thinking of putting and other adventures in brackets afterwards for slight comic effect, but just thought that would look silly. So this simple four worded title is mine. I'll leave it at that before I go into any tangents. Bye :)