Haven't posted for a while because life has been pretty hectic to be honest. What with trying to find a job and moving into the new house and sorting out stuff back at my home and family issues.
Dad's 'condition' has got worse in the last couple of months. After we had some pretty intense drama that included everyone in the Davies side as well as my Mum, as usual, he's been referred to a mental health team. They say he has bipolar, which would explain a lot. But as far as I'm concerned it doesn't justify the things he's said and done. I haven't spoken to him for 2 months now, and things feel a lot calmer because of that. At least he's getting support, but I really don't want to talk to him right now, for reasons that don't need to be explained in great detail on here to you lovely people.
Mum is not doing so well with affording rent and working with the benefits people who want to track every single penny she's accountable for, so we're looking for selling out my room to a lodger which should help with money issues. I don't mind particularly it is just that it's kinda weird that this is the last summer which I can say it is MY room, depending on how it all goes. But I put Mum's issue above my feelings.
Though jobs have been kinda hard to come by recently, with interviews not going so well apparently. Mum got me this pretend interview investigation that Brookes were doing which is designed to test managers on their interview skills, and they gave me tips and feedback on my experience which was really helpful. I have two more interviews for nearer when 2nd year starts, but that means I basically can't earn anything this summer. Ah well, better than nothing. The new house is amazing; it was refurbished 2 years ago, with new bathroom, kitchen and living room, and I get a double bed! The landlord and estate agents are much better than the last ones, so that's a bonus too. I think I'll be happier there than in the last one. All in all, things aren't too bad. In fact although I don't have a job I'm quite happy :)
Saturday, 21 July 2012
Thursday, 31 May 2012
Mass Effect 3
OK OK, here's the review already for ME3. It would be a massive understatement to say that Mass Effect 3 was not hugely anticipated; I couldn't grab myself a collectors edition because everyone got there first, and to be fair credit where credit is due, Bioware delivered. The combat has been improved even more, with the implementation of grenades again for the soldier class which was very satisfying. Kinect allows squad commands to be spoken which is cool, though this reviewer has not ventured into that particular new era quite yet, mostly due to prices of said item and the fact there is limited to say the least room for me to flail my arms around like I'm crazy. Combat is also made much more fluid as they bring back the upgrades from the first game but not quite so shit, like ways of making your pistol more accurate or more powerful or hold more clips etc. Most noticeable to myself was the melee attack that Shepard can do, an omni blade that can stab enemies, useful for cutting down the kinetic barriers.
Presentation is sick to say the least, with environments still detailed and lush, with a very welcome return to the Citadel where much of the campaign takes place. After being held in custody by the Alliance the Normandy gets a make over again, so no more ties to Cerberus. The ship feels more military and battle ready than stylish than in the sequel which in my opinion is how it should look. Cut scenes are far more emotional and heart wrenching with the invasion of the Reapers, your first fight being on Earth (and ending there in London of all places, which as a fellow Brit was quite cool). The first mission to escape and get word out to the rest of the galaxy is as I said an extremely tense and emotional experience, seeing humans dying and buildings been torn apart, complete chaos. This is evident across the other numerous worlds all caught up in a struggle for survival which forces Shepard to collect as many military resources as he/she can to fight the Reapers, and all this tension and fear really adds to the atmosphere of the game. I felt like it was a WW2-esque style of feeling, that everyone is pitching in to fight the good fight, all or nothing, one big push together.
The story is perhaps better than the last two put together, where you really feel that every choice matters to the fat of the galaxy. Choices you made in the first and second do have an effect, like whether people are dead or not (Always someone dies for me at the end of the sequel annoyingly). There are some quality moments with characters in your squad, like Garrus your best friend who has stuck with you since the beginning, Liara my love interest struggling to deal with the amount of pressure that Shepard puts on his shoulders. It feels like they are just as much your friends as Shepard's, and really adds to the storyline. Multiplayer has been added this time, which unlike in other games like Battlefield and COD actually serves more than a simple purpose; for completing missions in multiplayer, you increase your galactic readiness which should aid you in the fight against the Reapers. This is a great tool for making the story that much more immersive and rewards you for spending hours on it.
Pretty annoying right? But he's got a good point. It shouldn't really have ended that way, Bioware have essentially lied. Though now that the fan base have put so much pressure on Bioware, they are making extended DLC to be released in the summer that shows extra footage. But not changing the ending. Apparently, though, the ending can be explained by what some fans have created, not by Bioware or EA, the Indoctrination Theory. Again, I'll link a Youtube clip that fully explains this in great detail and is worth a watch. It basically says that Shepard has been on contact with the Reapers for so long that they have tried to get into his head, and that the ending is pretty much an illusion, given that the secret ending if you destroy the Reapers shows Shepard is still alive and back on Earth. Angry Joe also does a good review on this matter.
Well I hope that gives you a lot of insight into this game. it may well have ended on a sour note, but it has done for all us loyal fans. I personally still love this game and the trilogy, despite this ending. I might do a blog later that argues between the pros and cons just because I have the time to now. I give this game an 8/10, really give it a go and enjoy it because it is worth it in the end just for the experience of a really good RPG.
Presentation is sick to say the least, with environments still detailed and lush, with a very welcome return to the Citadel where much of the campaign takes place. After being held in custody by the Alliance the Normandy gets a make over again, so no more ties to Cerberus. The ship feels more military and battle ready than stylish than in the sequel which in my opinion is how it should look. Cut scenes are far more emotional and heart wrenching with the invasion of the Reapers, your first fight being on Earth (and ending there in London of all places, which as a fellow Brit was quite cool). The first mission to escape and get word out to the rest of the galaxy is as I said an extremely tense and emotional experience, seeing humans dying and buildings been torn apart, complete chaos. This is evident across the other numerous worlds all caught up in a struggle for survival which forces Shepard to collect as many military resources as he/she can to fight the Reapers, and all this tension and fear really adds to the atmosphere of the game. I felt like it was a WW2-esque style of feeling, that everyone is pitching in to fight the good fight, all or nothing, one big push together.
The story is perhaps better than the last two put together, where you really feel that every choice matters to the fat of the galaxy. Choices you made in the first and second do have an effect, like whether people are dead or not (Always someone dies for me at the end of the sequel annoyingly). There are some quality moments with characters in your squad, like Garrus your best friend who has stuck with you since the beginning, Liara my love interest struggling to deal with the amount of pressure that Shepard puts on his shoulders. It feels like they are just as much your friends as Shepard's, and really adds to the storyline. Multiplayer has been added this time, which unlike in other games like Battlefield and COD actually serves more than a simple purpose; for completing missions in multiplayer, you increase your galactic readiness which should aid you in the fight against the Reapers. This is a great tool for making the story that much more immersive and rewards you for spending hours on it.
However, I would be foolish not to admit it has flaws, such as the fact that secondary missions and assignments don't tell you which planets to go to, the fact that you can't have more squad mates in your crew, and that you constantly have to go back to the Citadel to get discounted prices on weapons. Though this does nor have much on it when compared to the ending. You'd have to have your head stuck inside a whale not to have heard all the hype about it. Mass Effect 3's ending in short, in my opinion even in light of all the negative criticism, is just confusing and annoying. After the big fight at the end, without giving away spoilers, Shepard has to make a choice concerning the Reapers. But the end result of which pretty much was 95% similar, with slightly different variations. OK, here might be some spoilers so if you don't want to know just skip to the end. There are 3 endings, controlling the Reapers, destroying them and synthesis, where you combine the DNA of synthetics and humans. The child you see throughout the game and in dreams appears as some weird God-child claiming the be the Catalyst of the weapon to destroy the Reapers claims that they are the solution to the infinite cycle of synthetics rebelling against humans. But this is proven wrong by the fact the Geth can become allies with the Quarians even after their war. The result of these choices are basically red, green or blue light that either control or destroy the Reapers. There isn't even an end cut scene that shows every ally you've collected fighting. It's as if none of it mattered, even though Bioware claimed that the third was going to end it all and tie all the choices together. There are loads of other issues with this ending which you can view in this link by a reviewer I personally love, Angry Joe, who I suggest you check him out on other stuff too, to get a picture of the flaws.
Pretty annoying right? But he's got a good point. It shouldn't really have ended that way, Bioware have essentially lied. Though now that the fan base have put so much pressure on Bioware, they are making extended DLC to be released in the summer that shows extra footage. But not changing the ending. Apparently, though, the ending can be explained by what some fans have created, not by Bioware or EA, the Indoctrination Theory. Again, I'll link a Youtube clip that fully explains this in great detail and is worth a watch. It basically says that Shepard has been on contact with the Reapers for so long that they have tried to get into his head, and that the ending is pretty much an illusion, given that the secret ending if you destroy the Reapers shows Shepard is still alive and back on Earth. Angry Joe also does a good review on this matter.
Well I hope that gives you a lot of insight into this game. it may well have ended on a sour note, but it has done for all us loyal fans. I personally still love this game and the trilogy, despite this ending. I might do a blog later that argues between the pros and cons just because I have the time to now. I give this game an 8/10, really give it a go and enjoy it because it is worth it in the end just for the experience of a really good RPG.
Monday, 21 May 2012
Just when you think you've got it all figured out
Most of my 1st year has been basically learning to take care of myself, like how to cook pasta properly and how rice is nothing like ordinary pasta (odd logic, both made from starch right :/), making friends in a new place and more or less learning who i actually am. I have only just realised that ever since last September I've been subconsciously re-creating my identity to fix the problems I've had with myself and my life in the past. As if moving to Bath means problems with my parents are no longer apparent; that proved to be BS. Like getting another job would be easy; biggest understatement of my life perhaps. And now I've come to the painful realisation that I'm not too sure who I am. I know this is probably very droll and bloody boring for whatever poor soul is reading this right now (that is if people are actually reading these posts anymore given the long period of in activity), but what I will say probably applies to many people.
In my case, I've realised how much I seem to cover up and pretend I'm something I'm not. I didn't realise that I may not be the complete sporty/jock I thought I could be by taking up American football. Don't get me wrong, most of the team has been great, and being part of something where it matters that I'm there is quite refreshing, and I'm fitter than I've ever been. Although I am hitting the gym at least 3 times a week now. For those who have no experience in this, American football calls for a much more direct use of aggressive testosterone behaviour for you to survive and adapt compared to rugby, which many people say is the same without pads. Hardly. You're told to hit people for the sake of it. Which was alright at first I guess, as I was angry about stuff and wanted to get rid of the feeling off missing home by taking it out on others legitimately. But how far can anyone keep going with something they know they aren't that happy with? If you don't enjoy something why the hell keep doing it? After all, most people reckon we only live once, and that may be right. But hey, there's no Star Wars society here otherwise I'd be there. There was the thought of the sealed knot battle reenactment society which sounded and looked cool, but I now feel I've been part of the team for so long, it's presence embedded in my mind and weekly routine so much that its hard to escape. I do like quite a lot of the team as well, though some are just too man-ish/rough/twatish for my pleasure. I wanted to set up a karate association next year anyway, I pretty much always thought this would be a 1st year thing. And that's the other thing Ive realised; I miss karate. I miss the art of controlling your movements with precision to counter any attack, I miss the calmness it brought me in even the toughest parts of being a teenager. I don't go out looking to be aggressive, I have trained myself not to give into hatred and anger. This is rather cliched, but as Yoda would say 'such feelings lead to the dark side'. Maybe he has a point, I don;t feel any better after these matches and training, I don't feel like any problems are solved. I ache like a bitch the next day usually and have to lug around the pads.
The point I am trying to get at is, if you don't think something is right for you don't do it. If self-defence isn't my style, why did I keep going for 5-6 years and become a black belt? 8 months into being a footballer and I am having serious doubts, not just average ones. The biggest concern that I have is that my fitness levels could drop a lot, even with the gym. I can't deny its kept me going, though I'm still rather flabby round my stomach. But I still have a lot more determination than others I've met this year, even more so than some on the team. I need to eat more portions of food because my hollow leg stage didn't really go, just developed into a routine. Football makes me feel good about it. I'm burning calories all the time. Fuck it, I think I'll do what makes me happy. I'm not convinced by the arguments for me staying much longer, which is kinda a shame as it has been pretty cool. I'll write an email to the coach and tell him how I feel. Well that felt good to get out, the only other people that know are my girlfriend and my parents.
So, if anyone else feels like this, all I can say is do what you want. This is your life, don't waste it on stuff you think might not do well for you in the long term. Do what makes you happy, because that is worth your time. And if that doesn't help, then take a look at this. It helped me.
In my case, I've realised how much I seem to cover up and pretend I'm something I'm not. I didn't realise that I may not be the complete sporty/jock I thought I could be by taking up American football. Don't get me wrong, most of the team has been great, and being part of something where it matters that I'm there is quite refreshing, and I'm fitter than I've ever been. Although I am hitting the gym at least 3 times a week now. For those who have no experience in this, American football calls for a much more direct use of aggressive testosterone behaviour for you to survive and adapt compared to rugby, which many people say is the same without pads. Hardly. You're told to hit people for the sake of it. Which was alright at first I guess, as I was angry about stuff and wanted to get rid of the feeling off missing home by taking it out on others legitimately. But how far can anyone keep going with something they know they aren't that happy with? If you don't enjoy something why the hell keep doing it? After all, most people reckon we only live once, and that may be right. But hey, there's no Star Wars society here otherwise I'd be there. There was the thought of the sealed knot battle reenactment society which sounded and looked cool, but I now feel I've been part of the team for so long, it's presence embedded in my mind and weekly routine so much that its hard to escape. I do like quite a lot of the team as well, though some are just too man-ish/rough/twatish for my pleasure. I wanted to set up a karate association next year anyway, I pretty much always thought this would be a 1st year thing. And that's the other thing Ive realised; I miss karate. I miss the art of controlling your movements with precision to counter any attack, I miss the calmness it brought me in even the toughest parts of being a teenager. I don't go out looking to be aggressive, I have trained myself not to give into hatred and anger. This is rather cliched, but as Yoda would say 'such feelings lead to the dark side'. Maybe he has a point, I don;t feel any better after these matches and training, I don't feel like any problems are solved. I ache like a bitch the next day usually and have to lug around the pads.
The point I am trying to get at is, if you don't think something is right for you don't do it. If self-defence isn't my style, why did I keep going for 5-6 years and become a black belt? 8 months into being a footballer and I am having serious doubts, not just average ones. The biggest concern that I have is that my fitness levels could drop a lot, even with the gym. I can't deny its kept me going, though I'm still rather flabby round my stomach. But I still have a lot more determination than others I've met this year, even more so than some on the team. I need to eat more portions of food because my hollow leg stage didn't really go, just developed into a routine. Football makes me feel good about it. I'm burning calories all the time. Fuck it, I think I'll do what makes me happy. I'm not convinced by the arguments for me staying much longer, which is kinda a shame as it has been pretty cool. I'll write an email to the coach and tell him how I feel. Well that felt good to get out, the only other people that know are my girlfriend and my parents.
So, if anyone else feels like this, all I can say is do what you want. This is your life, don't waste it on stuff you think might not do well for you in the long term. Do what makes you happy, because that is worth your time. And if that doesn't help, then take a look at this. It helped me.
Speak to you soon, Seb
Sunday, 22 April 2012
So yeah, Life has kinda changed.
Crap, I've done it again. Last time I said I'd keep up with my blogs, and I have not. Quite epically. 11 months I make it since that last one, and Christ a lot has happened. Well let's start with the biggest thing; I got into uni. Yeah I know right? I was surprised/pleased too. Well, 3 marks off my original choice of Oxford Brookes meaning I go to Bath Spa instead wasn't so bad. I prefer it here, something about Oxford in general I find is a bit overwhelming. I'm not usually happy when I'm there. Bath is different. It looks like Cheltenham, but then is completely different where I live now. Funny story about that actually, as I couldn't get into halls, I was thrown together with these 4 other people in the same situation as me trying to find a house. So we found one and boom, put down a deposit. I like them quite a lot; Lewis, Rhys, Polly and Becky. From the stories I've heard off other students, they could have been really bad. Many, many drinking nights have been had with these 4 and other pals we've collected along the way, which have been interesting to say the least.
I'm studying History and Sociology, which are quite interesting, especially the latter. Lots of angry feelings I had whilst I was at my last job about society and the people we integrate with have been sorted; being stuck on a till most of the time at the expense of your friend who got you the job can get a bit annoying. Especially with some of the people I had to deal with. But I'm not there anymore, because apparently I said I was never to return to that god awful place, so finding another job has been another side quest in my adventure. I chose American history as my second module, and it's amazing. the lecturer, this awesome Scottish bloke, is one of the best teachers I've ever listened to. He knows his stuff and isn't all in your face about it. He's also shared some rather funny student/drinking relates stories as well which is always a joy :) But seriously, I feel I better understand America now, rather than what the media and friends' views have on it, to say the least. The good thing about uni is that it has taught me a lot about life in general really. There was a lot of growing up that had to be done in the first term, and I think it has made me a better, more rounded human being (not physically mind as I'm on a student budget). Which comes onto the last bit; I joined American Football. Yeah, that's crazy, I didn't get it at first but now I do and it's quite fun. It's also kept me in shape too, which is a bonus. I've met some great guys on the team, who've helped me reach and accomplish goals I didn't think I could have before. One downside though has been that, although to be fair Sunday is one of the only days we can train, it messes up time I could see my Mum or girlfriend who's in Worcester Uni. I have Fridays off too which is great and I could spend longer away, but football prevents that as I feel I have an obligation to the team. There's also the sealed knot society which looked great, Civil war reenactments and stuff which is cool. But I feel like I'd be abandoning the team if I went off and did something else, which could clash with the training. I dunno, I'll figure something out.
There's loads of stuff I could talk about now, like more video game reviews (not that anyone is reading them anymore, though I haven't really done many) and personal shit that I could talk about on here, right now. But I'll leave it there for now, and write tomorrow about other things, as my neck is now hurting. BYE!
I'm studying History and Sociology, which are quite interesting, especially the latter. Lots of angry feelings I had whilst I was at my last job about society and the people we integrate with have been sorted; being stuck on a till most of the time at the expense of your friend who got you the job can get a bit annoying. Especially with some of the people I had to deal with. But I'm not there anymore, because apparently I said I was never to return to that god awful place, so finding another job has been another side quest in my adventure. I chose American history as my second module, and it's amazing. the lecturer, this awesome Scottish bloke, is one of the best teachers I've ever listened to. He knows his stuff and isn't all in your face about it. He's also shared some rather funny student/drinking relates stories as well which is always a joy :) But seriously, I feel I better understand America now, rather than what the media and friends' views have on it, to say the least. The good thing about uni is that it has taught me a lot about life in general really. There was a lot of growing up that had to be done in the first term, and I think it has made me a better, more rounded human being (not physically mind as I'm on a student budget). Which comes onto the last bit; I joined American Football. Yeah, that's crazy, I didn't get it at first but now I do and it's quite fun. It's also kept me in shape too, which is a bonus. I've met some great guys on the team, who've helped me reach and accomplish goals I didn't think I could have before. One downside though has been that, although to be fair Sunday is one of the only days we can train, it messes up time I could see my Mum or girlfriend who's in Worcester Uni. I have Fridays off too which is great and I could spend longer away, but football prevents that as I feel I have an obligation to the team. There's also the sealed knot society which looked great, Civil war reenactments and stuff which is cool. But I feel like I'd be abandoning the team if I went off and did something else, which could clash with the training. I dunno, I'll figure something out.
There's loads of stuff I could talk about now, like more video game reviews (not that anyone is reading them anymore, though I haven't really done many) and personal shit that I could talk about on here, right now. But I'll leave it there for now, and write tomorrow about other things, as my neck is now hurting. BYE!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)